It’s true what they say, that you can never forget. They were the first to fill your stomach with anxious butterflies; The first to make you shy away in happiness the moment you lock eyes; The first to keep you up all night daydreaming about the what ifs and one days; The first to break your heart into a million pieces.
How many people end up with their first love? Being first is nice, and if you’re lucky enough to be with yours, kudos. People get so caught up with that fairy tale ending, justifying the relationship (or lack of) by saying you can never feel the same way for any other. Well of course not, they were the first, and you can never recreate those first-time feelings. The rush. The excitement. The nerves.
I don’t recall ever telling my first that I loved him. Heck, we were never really together. It was complicated, but I loved him so much and for so long. I loved him when he didn’t even like me. I loved him when he toyed with my feelings. I loved him when he finally loved me back. But, the day he loved me back, was the day I learned to let go. It was the first time I cried myself to sleep wondering if I made the right decision. Perhaps I was a little over dramatic (I was a teenager after all), but my first love taught me to stand up for myself. He taught me that despite the highs, all-time lows, and first-time feelings, it eventually gets to a point where I can’t keep daydreaming that fairy tale ending. It would never have worked out.
The relationships that end up lasting are built with the first love being the foundation. They test your limits and help guide you into finding the right one. God forbid you have to cycle through more than five to get it right, but when you do… it’s worth it. And it’s worth fighting for. /theend