Do you ever get one of those weeks where you don’t feel a whole lot of anything at all? You live through the motions of everyday life doing what you need to do, seeing who you need to see and by the end of the day, you simply don’t want to deal with anything else. You don’t want to talk more than you need to, you don’t want to address problems, and you sure as hell don’t want to create problems. You just want to exist by yourself for a little while, yet still be around.
It’s not that you don’t enjoy life, it’s that you don’t know if your life matters. And when you don’t know, it’s always easier to leave your guard up. I think the most tiring task in life is to constantly try and understand those around you. But how do you understand what you don’t know? You try not to judge, but in the end, you know yourself best and you know what you want to keep in or out of your life, yet, you have to be accepting of what others keep in or out of their life.
Determining if you’re accepted or merely tolerated can really eat you up. Then again, you’d think that this shouldn’t really be a problem if you kept the right people in. But I suppose this is how life is for some people. /thoughts.